One is having a desire for things to be, or unfold, a certain way. When they don't you may feel frustrated or disillusioned. The truth is life is uncontrollable and unpredictable. Its better to accept things as they happen and celebrate that as your own unique journey.

The second thing is not having a higher purpose for the relationship. Whether its worshiping God or generating good karma through the acts you do for each other its up to you how you want to think about it.

But, this is crucial because there will be times when your partner is not their best and times when you're not either. The motivation to do the right thing still needs to be there in order to have a successful relationship.

If you only do it for your own desires, you'll stop being a good partner when the other person isn't fulfilling those expectations. On the other hand, if you do it only for your partner, you'll lose motivation the moment they're having a bad day. So, you both need to find an external reason why you're in the relationship that encourages kind, loving, and supportive behaviors but doesn't depend on fulfilling your own desires or the other person being a certain way.