It's hard to come to terms that I'll be celibate for the rest of my life. But, I'm starting to understand I'm not good in relationships and it would be selfish to put someone through that just so I can gain some kind of carnal pleasure.

I tend to run away whenever anything gets difficult because I can't stand the discomfort of my own emotions. The main issue is that all relationships are based on desire and desire always leads to suffering. So it's not surprising that every relationship eventually experiences heartbreak.

Some people are better at putting up with suffering in relationships because, either, their desires are so strong that they push through it in hopes of a wonderful reward someday or their emotional discomfort thresholds are just higher than normal. But there's always pain in relationships. It's a guarantee. Why subject ourselves to something that we know will bring suffering?

Even when a relationship is successful, the underlying problem still remains. The better the relationship, the greater the fear of losing it. Eventually, your partner acts in a way you don't like or you want your life together to be a certain way and it doesn't happen. This attachment brings anxiety, stress, and suffering.

I don't think it's wise to put ourselves through emotional pain just because there's also pleasure at other times. We have the option to not participate at all. Pleasure is not a good thing, as we all seem to think. It leads to addiction and disappointment when it ends or doesn't manifest how we expect.

I think we can train ourselves, or at least should attempt, to give up both pleasure seeking and pain avoidance. Food, for example, is pleasurable but it can also be bland and neutral. Maybe if we train ourselves to eat what is given rather than picking and choosing what we eat we can uncondition ourselves from craving food. The same can be said for other forms of wanting. If we can be free from our desires we'll also be free from disappointment and addiction. Stress disappears entirely if we stop chasing.

Separation from triggers and the distractions of relationships, romantic or otherwise, is useful when you're trying to figure out how to purify your mind. It's similar to how we isolate patients who have weakened immune systems while we treat them; exposure could worsen their condition or prevent healing. The truth is, we all have weakened emotional immune systems and are easily drawn back in by our triggers.